Mama’s always harping about how important it is to get your kids to help out in the kitchen. I’ve always done it, and last night was a good example of why I’m glad I practice what I preach. (Well, most of the time, anyway.)

Carlos has been in and out of Afghanistan for the past several years. Every time he walks in the front door, I silently thank God… and then immediately ask if he’s hungry. I know he’s been dreaming about food, reading about food and mentally anticipating and preparing meals in his head for as many months as he’s been gone. He loves food. Especially good food. Always has.

When he’s home, we constantly talk about preparing a dish from the latest, greatest cookbook I’ve acquired (this time it was “Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking” by Nathan Myhrvold)… but it is always just talk, we never seem to get around to it. Too many last minute meals, too many new restaurants to experience, too many friends to see.

Last night we actually walked the walk.

Maybe Elizabeth Cotton’s bluesy vocals on the iPod had something to do with setting the mood, but being in the kitchen with him was special. For me, the distraction of cooking has always made it easier for my kids to talk and share confidences (especially as they’ve gotten older). You can stir a sauce or measure an ingredient while measuring your thoughts and words at the same time.

We chopped, diced and sautéed, just like always. But, we also connected on a deeper level—talking, reminiscing, and laughing about everything and nothing at all.

What was different? Hard to say. Perhaps it’s because he’s a more accomplished cook now and knows what to do by instinct (which frees up his mind for more considered conversation). But I think it is as simple as this: He’s an adult now with life experiences I’ll never know. He’s grown and matured and moved on to that place your kids go where, you hope, they relate to you as a confidant… someone trusted, who will listen without passing judgment.

Ultimately, we prepared Thomas Keller’s Five Spiced and Roasted Main Lobster with Port-Poached Figs and Sautéed Moulard Duck Foie Gras from his “The French Laundry Cookbook” (1999, ISBN-10 1579651267). The dish was decadently rich, sweet, incredibly earthy and happily satisfying.

Just like the lucky few hours I got to spend cooking with Carlos… before he flies away again.

 

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